I'm getting married. It's official. Purchase your food storage and batteries.
Last night I proposed to Amelia and she, without hesitation, said yes. We're shooting for a June wedding at this point (because we love clichés). I love her and can't wait.
My whole life I've enjoyed making female friends and having girlfriends. Even though I had a reputation of being shy, I always seemed to have either a group of girlfriends the me and my posse felt comfortable around or a "steady gal" (as it was called in the 50s). It seemed so normal/natural, in fact, for me to be paired with a girl that my high school friends proclaimed that I would be the first married in our group. That didn't happen.
I dated a lot. I dated and dated and dated, had a girlfriend here and there, dated, stopped dating, dated, more girlfriends, dated, dated, dated, dated, dated, less frequent girlfriends, dated, dated, dated ... stopped caring. All of my high school friends were married, even my new single friends got married.
I became "that guy." The one that seems nice and kind of attractive and everything but who everyone wonders if something is wrong with him. Like he must be too weird or lazy or immature. Or gay. Even I wondered what my problem was. Until I figured out it was the girls' problem. But seriously folks, I was an okay guy. The problem wasn't with me but that after so many years of dating I knew exactly what I wanted and what would feel right for me. I never found it.
The tricky part was when I would seem to get close. Telling myself that I was right for them or they for me because of blah, blah, blah, even though in the end it wasn't working for one or the other. Eventually I became satisfied with the prospect of being alone and venturing out from time to time on a date just so I could say I was making an effort. The truth is that I would have stayed single forever before settling for someone (or them settling for me). I was prepared to have all or nothing and the more I was out there, the more I got ready for nothing.
But now I'm going to have it all. All I ever wanted. Amelia gets me. I get her. We understand each other. Our jokes, moods, differences, philosophies, quirks, goals are embraced by each other. She is who I have been waiting for ... all this time. It was sooooo worth it.
