The article lists a ton of examples of things a gentleman in 1880 was to do or not to do. Below I have listed a few of my favorites with commentary in italics where possible:
- Never exaggerate. Oops. I always exaggerate about everything.
- Never laugh at the misfortunes of others. Sorry, it's kind of how I make part of my living.
- Never give a promise that you do not fulfill. Gulp.
- Never send a present, hoping for one in return. This is why I don't send presents.
- Never speak much of your own performances. Instead, ask people how you did.
- Never fail to be punctual at the time appointed. Guilty.
- Never make yourself the hero of your own story. We all know this guy, right?
- Never fail to give a polite answer to a civil question.
- Never question a child about family matters. Especially our children. They know too much.
- Never present a gift saying that it is of no use to yourself. Sorry I gave you that copy of "Jack" directed by Francis Ford Coppola.
- Never call attention to the features or form of anyone present. Bella ...
- Never associate with bad company. Have good company, or none. Poison or Warrant is, however, just fine.
- Never look over the shoulder of another who is reading or writing. Aidan ...
- Never appear to notice a scar, deformity, or defect of anyone present. Bella and Aidan ...
- Never punish your child for a fault to which you are addicted yourself. If I can't say bitchface, then you can't say bitchface.
- Never answer questions in general company that have been put to others. Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!
- Never, when traveling abroad, be over boastful in praise of your own country. U-S-A, U-S-A!
- Never attempt to draw the attention of the company constantly upon yourself. Have you ever been in a room full of theater students?
- Never exhibit anger, impatience or excitement, when an accident happens. Impossible not to do one of these things. Do YouTube accidents count? (Thanks, Eric, for the link.)
- Never enter a room noisily; never fail to close the door after you, and never slam it.
- Never will a gentleman allude to conquests which he may have made with ladies.
- Never fail to offer the easiest and best seat in the room to an invalid, an elderly person, or a lady.
- Never give all your pleasant words and smile to strangers. The kindest words and the sweetest smiles should be reserved for home. Home should be our heaven. Amen.
